Five Years On

Will there be a time when I'm not missing you, Ingrid? I don't guess that the five-year anniversary of your death is the right time for that question, but I think it's moot anyway. I will always miss you.

It's not just on this day that I re-live your loss. It's most days, but this one is the hardest. I so wish that the world still had you in it, that the people who already loved you still had you there, that those who never got to know you had had that chance. It's such a void, that space where you used to be. How many movies didn't get made, how many songs didn't get passed around to your friends, how many cool things never got your stamp of approval and thus made us all a little cooler thanks to you?

There were many times when you might have questioned your impact on other people. There were no times when your impact was less than huge. You were just that sort of person: the standout.

I sure wish you were standing beside me, beside all of us, right now. God damn it, how I hate that you are never, ever coming back.