Today is the first anniversary of Ingrid's death. Maybe, like a lot of new things, it takes some getting used to. Because I'm not used to it yet no matter how much acceptance I want to cultivate.
Ingrid... who can think of her and fail to smile, to hear her laughter, to remember her warmth? Surely she was one of the funniest people on the planet. She could make you hoot and holler at the stupidest stuff, things no one else could raise a chuckle for. For crying out loud, I don't even have to remember her older than 17 or so to smile. I'm still laughing about the S&Ms and the gorilla socks and the nights making out under the stars and a thousand other juvenile, teenage things. And that was just the girl. The woman was even more amazing. Was there anyone more committed to laughter and love?
How can it be one year that she is gone? How can it even be one day, damn it? How? Bring her back, make it untrue, stop screwing around, God. This is how it feels today. And this is how it feels every day, in the little corners where you keep the things you know aren't true.
So it's a mixed bag, at best. Acceptance, grief, humor, love. In the end, maybe that's what gets us through the night and the day and the one year and all the rest. I hope so, because I miss you, Ingrid Joy Wilhite, with a fierceness and rage that I cannot shake. And I feel you with a warmth and love that I cannot deny.
I miss you, Ingrid. I miss you. I miss you.
--Caren Crockett
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3 comments:
goodbye ingrid. i miss you and sincerely regret that we didn't have more time. thanks for making the extra effort at the end.
Not a day goes by Ingrid, that I don't think of you and wish you were here. I miss you. I named my new high powered G-Raid "Ingrid." And when I was in Hana in Maui, I saw a cow, shot some footage of her and cut her into a very silly video. The credit read: Cow - Ingrid. I keep you alive in my heart and my mind and I miss you, I just miss you. I'm glad this blog is still up and active because it brings me closer to you and all those who love you. You will never be forgotten, Ingrid. You live on in my heart. Margo PS - the word verification for this comment is "wizin." That's poetic justice, huh? xo md
Not a day goes by Ingrid, that I don't think of you and wish you were here. I miss you. I named my new high powered G-Raid "Ingrid." And when I was in Hana in Maui, I saw a cow, shot some footage of her and cut her into a very silly video. The credit read: Cow - Ingrid. I keep you alive in my heart and my mind and I miss you, I just miss you. I'm glad this blog is still up and active because it brings me closer to you and all those who love you. You will never be forgotten, Ingrid. You live on in my heart. Margo PS - the word verification for this comment is "wizin." That's poetic justice, huh?
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